Child’s Age: 21 Months
Location: Williamsburg, NY
Fun Fact About You: Founder of The Burg
What has one of your biggest parenting hurdles been?
Spit up: My daughter spit up a crazy amount from about 3 days in until 7 months. We called her the “Spit Up Queen” daily. She was what my doctor called a “happy spitter” – meaning that she didn’t seem particularly upset by the spit up or in pain. BUT, the spit up was so much that we would put baby “wee wee pads” on the floor and burp her over them so that we didn’t have to clean the floor from her projectile explosions. Each time my friends with kids would see it they would say something like “I thought my kid spit up a lot… but this!!” She would wake herself up from naps crying after 20 minutes, having spit up in her sleep. She was briefly on reflux medication but it didn’t really help. This was just something I’d have to live with and nothing was technically wrong with my daughter since she was gaining weight (which was relieving to hear, but also frustrating because there was no solution). In hindsight, I think a large contributing factor was that I had a pretty fast flow from my breast and she had a tendency to chug. A few products that I found helpful below.
Extra thick bibs that are also neutral and cute
Drinking Water: My daughter refused to drink water until she was 15 months old! I started trying to give her water around 6.5 months out of a straw and open cup. She wouldn’t close her lips around a straw and if she did, she would spit the water out. I consulted with multiple feeding therapists and was given exercises to try with zero success. She wouldn’t even do the exercises because she became so turned off by straws and cups, that she got upset when she even saw one. FINALLY, when she was 15 months, I decided to try cutting her milk down from three times a day to two. Magically, she was thirsty enough to drink water and she just started happily drinking it. The only water bottle she likes is linked below. They come with all different pictures and characters and your child doesn’t have to bite the straw to make it work. I’d also recommend starting water early (after 6 months) and starting with the Pipette Method (that you can read about in our STARTING SOLIDS GUIDE).
What has one of your proudest parenting moments been?
Sleep: My daughter really loves her crib. She’s never been the best napper, but she’s a great night sleeper. Even if she wakes up in the middle of the night – she lays there happily and talks to herself. One huge thing is that she’s a thumb sucker. When she started sucking her thumb, she became super happy in the crib. Her teeth are already crooked though – so there’s the payoff.
I think we did 3 things that really helped her love her crib and be able to self-soothe though:
- Put in Crib Awake: We always laid her down sleepy but AWAKE – so, from birth, she was used to going in her crib awake and soothing herself to sleep.
- Rest in Crib After Wake Up: We always left her in the crib for about 15 minutes after she woke up – so that she got comfortable being in there by herself. This was also a product of her always taking short naps.
- Consistent Time Out of Bed: We picked a time to get her out of the crib in the morning. If she woke up at 6:30, we’d get her at 7am. If she woke up at 6:45, we’d get her at 7am. If she slept past 7, we’d always let her sleep though (but that’s rare).
- Goodnight Song: We made up a “goodnight song” It’s super simple (“Goodnight Lily. We love you very much. Mama loves you. Dada loves you. Bowie (our dog) loves you. We love you very much”). It works like a charm. Every time we sing it, she is suddenly ready to go to bed, even if she was resistant before. We use it for naps too.
What’s the parenting advice you wish you got?
Breastfeeding: I wish someone told me that I could stop breastfeeding if it was making me and my baby miserable. I put a lot of pressure on myself to keep going when my baby was crying at the breast, resisting nursing, and my supply was low. I kept hearing friends say how long they breastfed with pride (and it was a major accomplishment) …but I realized that it was making me feel like I had to do that too. When I stopped breastfeeding, I felt so relieved and so much more like myself. I’m so happy that I was able to breastfeed while I did. It was a really tough emotional decision to stop. BUT I felt really free and happy when I did stop and I still felt just as connected with my baby. So my advice is that, if it’s not working or it’s causing mental and/ or physical suffering (or even if everything is working great), you can give yourself the permission to stop. You can also keep going if you want! It’s such a personal decision and just listen to yourself about the process without comparing to others or expectations you had before doing it.
Phases: I would also add that most things in a baby’s life are a phase. Everything in parenting can feel super overwhelming, extreme, and like it will never end. Most things that you’ll encounter (spitting up, not drinking water, not sleeping, tantrums, being on the later end of milestones, and even phases into high school years…) will pass. Don’t beat yourself up when you’re in the hard times. They will pass. I kept reminding myself that my daughter would likely drink water by the time she got to college and it was a helpful reminder, as ridiculous as it was.
What’s a perfect parenting product you used?
Bibs Glow in the Dark Pacifiers. They stay in infants’ mouths the best, they glow in the dark so they’re easy to find in the crib, and they have a nice design!
Runner up would be the Munchkin Arm & Hammer Diaper Pail. It has the arm & hammer insert to help decrease the smell and the top of the bag twists & seals when you close the pail to keep smells in!
What new things are happening in your child’s life this month?
Lily is 21 months old. She’s talking up a storm and singing to herself about 80% of her day. She loves music, our dog Bowie, playing with her friends, animals, and taking care of her baby doll (“Baby Beluga”). She can be really stubborn and bossy too. Whenever we’re playing, she tells me which toys to hold, where to sit, and what to do constantly. She’s started to interact with other kids more and really play with them vs. just doing parallel play – which has been really sweet to see. She started having tantrums around 20 month and those have been super surprising and challenging. She’s had a few long public tantrums and we had no idea what to do. I think (AND HOPE) we’re starting to get the hang of how to manage them, but I think sometimes they just have to pass too.
She’s currently obsessed with this Eva Chen book and loves reciting the words with us.